tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8176972623962507742024-03-08T04:01:09.312-08:00Grean Unpeace MovementDisclaimer: This blog has nothing to do whatsoever with the Greenpeace movement. Koi rishta nahi hai - na khoon ka, na dharm ka, na dosti ka, na dushmani ka! (PS: Yes, I know how to spell grean.. er.. I mean green.)Grean Sleeveshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05709429910807111461noreply@blogger.comBlogger11125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-817697262396250774.post-42416595660797541692008-09-29T18:51:00.000-07:002008-10-02T00:24:58.597-07:00Love is...... dynamic!<br /><br />What the blazes do you mean "dynamic", you ask! Ah, I will tell you.<br /><br />Does it mean (a) <span class="sense_break"><span class="sense_content">of or relating to physical force or energy, or (b) </span></span><span class="sense_break"><span class="sense_break"><span class="sense_content">marked by usually continuous and productive activity or change, or (c) </span></span></span><span class="sense_break"><span class="sense_break"><span class="sense_break"><span class="sense_content"> requiring periodic refreshment of charge in order to retain data? (Courtesy, Merriam-Webster's online dictionary. Gosh, who writes these things - you need a dictionary to interpret what they mean!).<br /><br />Well, I suppose the second definition comes the closest, since it talks about change. That's what I mean by dynamic - forever changing. Compare the love between new lovers with the love between new spouses with the love between old spouses. Same two people, but the nature of their love changes with time. (Yeah, like you didn't know all that!)<br /><br />Take a look at that Zee tv ad for some frozen vegetables. This young woman (she's pretty!) asks her mom what is she expecting to get from her husband on valentine's day. Later, she asks her dad what did he bring his wife for valentine's day. Both of them independently give the same answer - शादी के बाद प्यार जताने के तरीके बदल जाते हैं! (For you devanagari challenged people, <span style="font-style: italic;">shaadi ke baad pyaar jatane ke tareeke badal jaate hain.</span> For you hindi challenged people, <span style="font-style: italic;">ways of showing your love change after you get married.</span>) And then the camera zooms into packets of frozen vegetables. Seriously. Umm, I guess they are telling us that he brought packets of frozen vegetables for his wife for valentine's day, right?<br /><br />Now, that is brilliant. That's exactly what I am going to get for my wife on our next wedding anniversary - frozen vegetables. Yes, I checked the anniversary table. It says that the 14th anniversary is supposed to be "frozen vegetable" anniversary. I swear. Check it yourself if you don't believe me!<br /><br /></span></span></span></span>Grean Sleeveshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05709429910807111461noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-817697262396250774.post-11750120414637980312008-08-15T08:11:00.000-07:002008-08-15T11:23:00.958-07:00He said, she said... And I posted, now you laugh!I swear this is a real conversation. I am not making it up. Needless to say, the identities have been hidden to protect the guilty....<br /><br /><blockquote><span style="font-weight: bold;">He:</span> Check this out:<br /><a target="_blank" href="http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/europe/germany/2497655/Bullet-resistant-bras-for-German-police.html"><span class="yshortcuts" id="lw_1218813203_0">http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/europe/germany/2497655/Bullet-resistant-bras-for-German-police.html</span></a><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">She:</span> :-P I don't get it though. Whats the diffrence between this and a vest? Vest covers all the organs ???<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">He:</span> No no.. this is supposed to replace the traditional bra, not the vest. A vest wouldn't provide the support.. so they need something to supplement the vest and provide support underneath.. (After all, you can't have women cops running around bra-less.. hippie days are gone!) And the traditional "support-providers", because of metallic wires etc, created an injury risk from the impact of a bullet upon the vest.. and so, they needed something that can provide the support without using any metals...<br /><br />Now, what's ironic is why am I - a man - explaining about support to you - a woman! Shouldn't it be the other way round? What do I know about support? (above the waist, that is :-P )<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">She:</span> Sigh....such interesting conversation :-P<br /><br />What happened to the simple cloth bra? I guess you're saying this is needed because its indeed painful to be shot at regardless of wearing kevlar. You still get bruises. So you need additional padding. ok.<br /><br />Yes yes. I remember now the last time when I had a bullet hit me :-P<br /><br />Lord. Now all we need is <span style="border-bottom: 1px dashed rgb(0, 102, 204); cursor: pointer;" class="yshortcuts" id="lw_1218813326_0">bullet proof</span> jockstraps.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">He:</span> Well.. I can't speak from personal experience since I never had a bullet hit me in the boobs while I was wearing a bra.. But german women seem to think they need additional padding. And I suppose germans had their reasons for needing metal in their bras.. they are a tough bunch, you know!<br /><br />How do you know they don't already have <span style="border-bottom: 1px dashed rgb(0, 102, 204); cursor: pointer;" class="yshortcuts" id="lw_1218813197_0">bullet proof</span> jockstraps? I am sure men cops thought of that early enough. After all, a woman can survive without breasts.. but a man without his thingy might just as well be dead!<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">She:</span> <span style="border-bottom: 1px dashed rgb(0, 102, 204); background: transparent none repeat scroll 0% 0%; cursor: pointer; -moz-background-clip: -moz-initial; -moz-background-origin: -moz-initial; -moz-background-inline-policy: -moz-initial;" class="yshortcuts" id="lw_1218813396_0">Bullet proof</span> jockstrap. Ok I research it and let you know if it exists or not :-D</blockquote><br />As of this writing, he's still waiting to see the results of her research, and refuses to venture out into bullet prone areas of the world until then. She, on the other hand, is seriously considering relocating to Germany to enroll in the law enforcements division.Grean Sleeveshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05709429910807111461noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-817697262396250774.post-30863701584502629602008-06-06T16:26:00.000-07:002008-06-06T16:32:03.178-07:00Zap!! Crack!!!Some of you might remember my earlier post questioning the purpose of a man's nipples. Well, I have found another use for them.<br /><br />They can be very effectively used to discharge static electricity build up from the corner of your car door after a long drive on a particularly dry day.<br /><br />OWWWWW! Its not funny!Grean Sleeveshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05709429910807111461noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-817697262396250774.post-49888472953309857072008-01-22T09:24:00.000-08:002008-01-22T09:55:20.896-08:00Beautiful Girls Can Get Away With Murder!Well, this post is about nothing so extreme. The spectacular title is just to catch your attention! This is just about two friends and their, umm.. shall we say... traits? (No, I am not giving out any names. So, don't bother.)<br /><br />Ok, first one. There is this friend who sounds perpetually sleepy. You call her up and you get a sleepy drone, "Haaaiiii Swaaameeee. Haaoowww aaare youuuu?" And its the middle of the day. She's not sleepy. You can tell if you are with her that she's not sleepy. That's just how she talks sometimes. But.. she's beautiful. So, who am I to complain?<br /><br />Then there is this friend who loves to revel in melancholy. Sad movies are her favorites. And she firmly believes in "हैं सब से मधुर वो गीत जिन्हें हम दर्द के सुर में गाते हैं" (for all you devanagari challanged people: <span style="font-style: italic;">Hain sab se madhur woh geet jinhe hum dard ke sur mein gaate hain</span>). And she loves the melancholic poetry of Bahadur Shah Zafar. So, naturally she was devastated to find out that "लगता नहीं है दिल मेरा उजड़े दयार में" (<span style="font-style: italic;">Lagta nahin hai dil mera ujade dayaar </span><span style="font-style: italic;">mein</span>), and "न किसी की आँख का नूर हूँ"(<span style="font-style: italic;">Na kisi ki aankh ka noor hoon</span>) were not written, as popularly believed, by Bahadur Shah Zafar.<br /><br />You ask, "Why should she be upset about that?" Well, because her melancholic hero is suddenly not so melancholic any more!<br /><br />You also ask, "Is she beautiful?" Well, she claims to be a man. So, she can't be labeled as beautiful or not beautiful. Unless she wants to be called a "pretty boy".Grean Sleeveshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05709429910807111461noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-817697262396250774.post-40953603464271448792008-01-18T06:37:00.000-08:002008-01-19T08:30:14.219-08:00Torture is...Torture is not...<br /><br />...having to crawl out of bed at 6 am in the morning while its still dark outside and the whole world is sleeping, and you've barely slept 5 hours at night.<br /><br />Torture is...<br /><br />...going back into the bedroom and seeing your wife and child still sleeping oh so peacefully, and hearing the comforting cozy sound of the fan, and seeing an empty warm inviting spot under the blanket, but knowing you can't crawl back into bed at least for the next 16 hours!Grean Sleeveshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05709429910807111461noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-817697262396250774.post-87100433749548838642007-12-13T06:26:00.000-08:002008-01-28T09:24:22.621-08:00From Simple to SimpletonThis is sort of a followup to my previous post. So, if you haven't read the previous one, go read it. And also the comments that some people have been kind enough to leave. Otherwise, this one won't make any sense. Not that I ever make sense, but...<br /><br />So..... since y'all (spoken with a true Texan drawl) have been asking what made me write that about daughters and women....<br /><br />It was just idle musing one morning while I was stuck in traffic on I280. And because just a little while back, I had spent a few seconds scratching my head to make sure that I had spelt <i>daughter</i> correctly in some conversation. I just connected the dots. Voila! C'est tout!!<br /><br />However, note how all the women have objected and are trying to find deep hidden meanings behind a simple obvious observation. I rest my case!<br /><br />Men, on the other hand are quaking in their boots. Why? Because men are such simple creatures. For example, look at this (courtesy CNN: <a href="http://www.savethis.clickability.com/st/saveThisApp?clickMap=link&webPadID=K201675707">Weirdest work stories of the year</a>):<br /><br /><blockquote></blockquote><blockquote><b>Alleged robber asks victim out for date</b><br /><br />After two men robbed a Domino's Pizza delivery woman, one of them called the victim from his cell phone to apologize -- and to ask her out.</blockquote><br />Hmm... basic instincts, eh? It's a fine line between simple and simpleton, I suppose!Grean Sleeveshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05709429910807111461noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-817697262396250774.post-40293794876983238182007-11-28T12:29:00.000-08:002007-11-28T12:42:14.788-08:00Fraternizing With the EnemyHave you ever wondered why <span style="font-style: italic;">daughter</span> is such a complicated and hard to spell word as opposed to <span style="font-style: italic;">son</span>?<br /><br />Well, lovable creatures though they are, you can't deny that women <span style="font-weight: bold;">are</span> more complicated and difficult than men. That's why!Grean Sleeveshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05709429910807111461noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-817697262396250774.post-35446033466509716032007-10-29T08:57:00.000-07:002007-10-29T09:31:19.697-07:00What's That! A Baby's Journey of Discovery...A few weeks back, my 1 year old son's flailing hand inadvertently bumped into his groin while his diaper was off. And he had just made one of the first major discovery about his own body! Since then, whenever his diaper is off, he wants to make sure that his treasure is still there and hasn't fallen off. You can almost see the relief on his face that mommy and daddy haven't taken that away too like they take away all other useful weapons such as knives and sharp pointed pencils. Occasionally, if he happens to be standing up with his diaper off, his visual curiosity gets the better of him, so he thrusts his hips forward, curves his back and gazes adoringly down between his legs at the.. umm.. <span style="font-style: italic;">acorn,</span> as one very fascinated and sharp little girl once called it!<br /><br />Ah, but this was only the beginning of the journey. Next in the list of his discoveries were those curious little round bumps on his chest. "Oooh, I can flick my fingers against them," he must have thought, "What a cool toy!" Now, the earlier relief in his eyes had been replaced by glee! For he could tell that these are not detachable, and so cannot be taken away. A keen discerning observer will often be able to spy this smart little one year old standing shirtless in the middle of the room, with both his hands upon his chest bumps, flicking his fingers against them gleefully. Er, I mean the baby's, not the observer's.<br /><br />Now, I tried to tell my son, "Look here, sonny boy, a man doesn't do that to his own umm.. nipples. In fact, a man's nipples are probably the most useless thing God ever created, second only to appendix. Wait.. on second thoughts, an appendix can swell, rupture and even kill you. So, its not that useless after all, even though its only known use in humans may be unwelcome and undesirable. Thank God, nipples can't do that. Phew!!<br /><br />This, however, raises an interesting genesis question. Lets reason this out, shall we? Science claims that a man's nipples are vestigial and serve no fathomable purpose in life. Merriam-Webster's online dictionary defines vestige as: <span style="font-style: italic;" class="sense_break"><span class="sense_break"><span class="sense_content">a bodily part or organ that is small and degenerate or imperfectly developed in comparison to one more fully developed in an earlier stage of the individual, in a past generation, or in closely related forms. </span></span></span><span class="sense_break"><span class="sense_break"><span class="sense_content">Note the phrase "in an earlier stage of the individual". Finally, a popular theory of genesis of life proclaims that God made woman from the rib of a man. Well, <span style="font-style: italic;">there</span> is the paradox. If a man's nipples are vestigial but a woman's are not (obviously), then isn't woman an earlier stage of humans? On the other hand, if man is an earlier stage of humanity than a woman as per this evolution theory, then why in the world did God ever give man nipples? Unless, God actually didn't create woman from a man's ribs, but from... umm, never mind... certain people's sensibilities might get offended by any further exploration of this subject.<br /><br /><br /></span></span></span>Grean Sleeveshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05709429910807111461noreply@blogger.com11tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-817697262396250774.post-67072571973304289202007-10-03T18:11:00.000-07:002007-10-03T18:17:37.779-07:00Overheard at the PediatricianHere's a one sided snippet of a telephone conversation I overheard at the pediatrician's office few days back:<br /><br />Receptionist: Who is the appointment for?<br />...<br />Receptionist: Oh, for you? Are you a child?<br />...<br />Receptionist: You're 16?<br />...<br />Receptionist: Yup. You are a child!!<br /><br />I guess its tough to be a teenager. On the other hand, we also know some people who kept seeing their pediatrician until they were 25!! :-)Grean Sleeveshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05709429910807111461noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-817697262396250774.post-84791712242252132112007-09-19T06:22:00.000-07:002007-09-27T08:47:51.636-07:00The Botonica IdentityWho doesn't like to get comments on their blog. After all, it is very satisfying to your ego to know that people are reading all the crap that you so painstakingly wrote. Imagine, they are wasting their precious time just for you! Gladdens the cockles of your heart, whatever they are.<br /><br />However, if you can't figure out who left the comment for you, doesn't that drive you up the wall? Especially, if you are the second most curious person in the world, like me?<br /><br />Now, there are some people whose sign in name says nothing about who they are. But that's ok. I, Grean Sleeves, cannot in all honesty complain about that, can I?<br /><br />But you can usually figure out who they are. Take <span style="font-style: italic;">lostinlondon</span>, for example. How many people do I know who are actually capable of getting lost in London? Umm, ok, never mind.. Lots! But then how many of them are actually in London right now so they can get lost. Just one. So there!<br /><br />Then there is <span style="font-style: italic;">Supremus</span>. Again, exactly one person who is egotistical elitist enough to call himself Supremus. Or wait.. was that egoistical elite?<br /><br />Now, who doesn't know <span style="font-style: italic;">Basanti</span>? No need to even ask her ki uska naam kya hai. Akhir jahan Dhanno, wahin Basanti.<br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">Venusallure</span>. Now that is an alluring name, if any. One can only imagine how alluring the woman behind that name must be. Just like Venus. Or again, wait! Maybe its a guy and he thinks he can allure Venus? God forbid. Well, nothing to worry. This venusallure is a woman for sure. Or so she claims!<br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">Rebellion</span> is actually quite an antithesis of her name. She's anything but a rebel. A very gentle, soft-spoken, sentimental person. But the point is, I know who Rebellion is.<br /><br />But then, there is <span style="font-style: italic;">Botonica</span>. Now, first of all, what kind of a name is that? Bot<span style="font-style: italic;">A</span>nica I can understand. But Bot<span style="font-style: italic;">O</span>nica? Huh? After all, its Bot<span style="font-style: italic;">A</span>ny, not Bot<span style="font-style: italic;">O</span>ny! (Shut up! Gre<span style="font-style: italic;">A</span>n is different from Gre<span style="font-style: italic;">E</span>n.) Second, who is she? Yes. She. Not he. Why she? Well, since I don't know who it is, why don't I just make a happy assumption that it is a woman. And while I am at it, let me also assume that she's bewitchingly beautiful as well. And friendly. Yes, that is important. After all, what use is a beautiful woman if she's aloof and standoffish? (Okay, don't answer that! And, let me just fantasize, will ya! What's your problem?)<br /><br />Well, so the mystery remains. All I know about her is that she reads my blog and leaves occasional comments. Other than that, zilch! Sigh!! Lets all call upon Botonica to reveal her true colors. On a count of 3... 1, 2, 3, Botonica, expose yourself! (Er, that didn't come out quite right, did it?)Grean Sleeveshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05709429910807111461noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-817697262396250774.post-48688074538819654832007-09-11T17:37:00.000-07:002007-09-27T08:49:15.203-07:00A Poetical BeginningAnybody who knows me well knows how incompetent I feel around poetry. What can be a better reason than that to start my blog with a poetical composition of my own!! - the one and only so far (and hopefully forever).<br /><br />This is inspired by and dedicated to an unexpectedly poetically inclined friend. (Who? <span style="font-weight: bold;">Whyyyy</span> do you need to know that?)<br /><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-style: italic;"><span style="font-weight: bold;"><span style="font-style: italic;">Crock & Crumb<br /><br /></span></span>I sit here and wonder if I am really that dumb<br />For poetry leaves me feeling rather numb<br />When I hear it, all I can do is twiddle my thumb<br />Argh, what a crock has it turned out to be, this maiden poetical crumb!<br /><br /></span><div style="text-align: left;"><br /><br />There! So, shoot me!!<br /><br /><br /></div></div>Grean Sleeveshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05709429910807111461noreply@blogger.com9