Monday, October 29, 2007

What's That! A Baby's Journey of Discovery...

A few weeks back, my 1 year old son's flailing hand inadvertently bumped into his groin while his diaper was off. And he had just made one of the first major discovery about his own body! Since then, whenever his diaper is off, he wants to make sure that his treasure is still there and hasn't fallen off. You can almost see the relief on his face that mommy and daddy haven't taken that away too like they take away all other useful weapons such as knives and sharp pointed pencils. Occasionally, if he happens to be standing up with his diaper off, his visual curiosity gets the better of him, so he thrusts his hips forward, curves his back and gazes adoringly down between his legs at the.. umm.. acorn, as one very fascinated and sharp little girl once called it!

Ah, but this was only the beginning of the journey. Next in the list of his discoveries were those curious little round bumps on his chest. "Oooh, I can flick my fingers against them," he must have thought, "What a cool toy!" Now, the earlier relief in his eyes had been replaced by glee! For he could tell that these are not detachable, and so cannot be taken away. A keen discerning observer will often be able to spy this smart little one year old standing shirtless in the middle of the room, with both his hands upon his chest bumps, flicking his fingers against them gleefully. Er, I mean the baby's, not the observer's.

Now, I tried to tell my son, "Look here, sonny boy, a man doesn't do that to his own umm.. nipples. In fact, a man's nipples are probably the most useless thing God ever created, second only to appendix. Wait.. on second thoughts, an appendix can swell, rupture and even kill you. So, its not that useless after all, even though its only known use in humans may be unwelcome and undesirable. Thank God, nipples can't do that. Phew!!

This, however, raises an interesting genesis question. Lets reason this out, shall we? Science claims that a man's nipples are vestigial and serve no fathomable purpose in life. Merriam-Webster's online dictionary defines vestige as: a bodily part or organ that is small and degenerate or imperfectly developed in comparison to one more fully developed in an earlier stage of the individual, in a past generation, or in closely related forms. Note the phrase "in an earlier stage of the individual". Finally, a popular theory of genesis of life proclaims that God made woman from the rib of a man. Well, there is the paradox. If a man's nipples are vestigial but a woman's are not (obviously), then isn't woman an earlier stage of humans? On the other hand, if man is an earlier stage of humanity than a woman as per this evolution theory, then why in the world did God ever give man nipples? Unless, God actually didn't create woman from a man's ribs, but from... umm, never mind... certain people's sensibilities might get offended by any further exploration of this subject.


11 comments:

Swati said...

Perfect blackmailing material against Bubbs when he grows up. Especially useful if we don't like his girlfriend ;-).

"Lady Namu" said...

I agree with DD, on the other hand gaboo might find his "ummmssss" very useful..who knows he could be a little einstein and discover his own use for them;-)

josephkam said...

Ah, yes...what a wonderful nut, the acorn is. {stares dreamily into space}

Loved your logical conundrum, Swami. Only you could have come up with it. By the way, whenever I'm in a plane these days, I am fascinated by how the liquids always stay level even if the plan is turning.

Ramanan said...

Please - there are too many acorns in this world ... lets not mention acorns ... and I mean the acorns that are falling like rain on my driveway from the huge oak tree that adorns the front yard ...

ps: I will never look at Bubbs the same way again :) ....

botonica said...

Well here is a brief vignette in embryonic development,
stating that male nipples are not a vestigeal predicament.
They occur because of nipple precursors in early embryogenesis
so why befuddle adam, eve,ribs or whatever else creation is?
Tell your little Adonis his nipples are not a waste,
They are every bit worth his curiosity in haste.
As for the acorn, you know the saying folks..
That they all have the potential to grow into mighty oaks!!

cough cough ahem,
(mumbled)boronica

Grean Sleeves said...

acorns grow into mighty oaks.. and then they rain more acorns in ramanan's driveway!!

ramanan, you probably will not look at those acorns the same way again either.... :-P

josephkam said...

Botonica's little poem is fantastic. Hope to see more little gems like that.

Anonymous said...
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"Lady Namu" said...

just read ur post to my parents and they couldn't stop giggling...they are "surprised" at ur creativity;-)

Ruchi said...

lol!! this is what i have to look forward to with my 3 week old, who will follow his cousin's footsteps in no time :)

Crime Master said...

Ok, your son is going to sue you when he grows up! Seriously!

You've always been meanie greanie! :p